I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
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all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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