i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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