let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Couch. On fire.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize