Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize