He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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