just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize