i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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