Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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