He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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