I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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