Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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