He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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