I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize