the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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