she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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