My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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