Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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