i need an iv and a liver transplant
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize