***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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