Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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