just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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