i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
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I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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