why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
