just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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