I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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