Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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