I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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