I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize