hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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