please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
