covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
