you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize