I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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