So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
