I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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