Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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