Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize