I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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