The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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