I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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