Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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