I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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