well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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