tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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