True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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