How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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