Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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