Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize