This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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