I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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