New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
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Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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